For One Night, Sequester Becomes a Punchline

President Obama has indeed brought change to Washington: in exchange for his white-tied presence on Saturday night, he successfully pressured the journalistic elite at the 128-year-old Gridiron Club to shorten its often interminably long annual dinner roast.

Yet he still got his licks in, even as he took his share of them.

“As you know, I last attended the Gridiron dinner two years ago,” Mr. Obama said. “Back then, I addressed a number of topics - a dysfunctional Congress, a looming budget crisis, complaints that I don’t spend enough time with the press. It’s funny, it seems like it was just yesterday.”

Perhaps only in the capital could he warm up a crowd by starting with jokes about the “sequester,” te indiscriminate across-the-board spending cuts that took effect this month after Mr. Obama and Republican lawmakers could not agree on a deficit-reducing alternative. (By day, the Obama team is not laughing, given the widespread criticism of the Secret Service’s decision to suspend White House tours for the summer because of the budget cuts.)

“I know some of you have noticed that I’m dressed a little differently from the other gentlemen,” Mr. Obama said to the roughly 650 journalists, members of Congress, Cabinet members, governors, ambassadors and military brass. “Because of sequester, they cut my tails. My joke writers have been placed on furlough. I know a lot of you reported that no one will feel any immediate impact because of the sequester. Well, you’re about to find out how wrong you are.! ”

Predictably given his audience, he also poked fun at one of the town’s most famous journalists, Bob Woodward of The Washington Post, for his recent spat with the White House over sequestration - in particular for Mr. Woodward’s public suggestion that Gene Sperling, Mr. Obama’s top economic adviser, had threatened him if Mr. Woodward continued his criticism. (E-mails between the two show a  friendly, if disagreeable, exchange of ideas.)

“Who knew Gene could be so intimidating” exclaimed Mr. Obama, to the knowing laughter of those familiar with Mr. Sperling, who starting in the Clinton administration developed a reputation for being earnest and conciliatory. (Mr. Sperling was present at the dinner; Mr. Woodward was not.)

“Now I know that some folks think we responde to Woodward too aggressively,” Mr. Obama continued about the man who first gained fame for helping to bring down President Richard M. Nixon for the Watergate scandal and since, as a book author, has been criticized for skewering public figures who do not cooperate with him, and favoring those who do.

“But hey,” the president said, “when has - can anybody tell me when an administration has ever regretted picking a fight with Bob Woodward What’s the worst that could happen”

“As you may have heard, Bob invited Gene over to his place,” Mr. Obama added. “And Bob says he actually thinks that I should make it too. And I might take him up on the offer. I mean, nothing says ‘not a threat’ like showing up at somebody’s house with guys with machine guns.”

The best-received Gridi! ron speec! hes from politicians mix jabs at others with some self-deprecation , and Mr. Obama offered just a little. Alluding to tough decisions that were looming, he said, “I have my top advisers working around the clock. After all, my March Madness bracket isn’t going to fill itself out. And don’t worry - there is an entire team in the Situation Room as we speak, planning my next golf outing.”

The president combined a reference to his recent outreach to Senate Republicans with a dig at them for opposing Chuck Hagel, a former Senate Republican himself, for confirmation as defense secretary.

“I’m also doing what I can to smooth things over with Republicans in Congress. In fact, these days John McCain and I are spending so much time together that he told me we were becoming friends. I said, ‘John, stop. Chuck Hagel warned me how this ends up.’ ”

Mr. Obama also tweaked his 70-year-old vice president, Joseph R. Biden Jr., who also was absent, over speculation about his future ambitions.

“Look, it’s no secret that my vice president is still ambitious,” he said. “But let’s face it, his age is an issue. Just the other day, I had to take Joe aside and say, ‘Joe, you are way too young to be the pope. You can’t do it. You got to mature a little bit.’ ”

Before the president’s speech closed the evening - which lasted just over three hours instead of the usual four-plus - he sat on the dais in the ballroom of the Renaissance Hotel for the u! sual teas! ing skits from the 65-member Gridiron Club and dueling speeches from a representative of each party. Just as then-Senator Obama was the Democratic speaker at the club’s 2006 dinner, this year’s picks were two politicians seen as potential presidential contenders: Senator Amy Klobuchar of Minnesota, a Democrat, and Governor Bobby Jindal of Louisiana, a Republican.

After four years, Mr. Jindal could still get laughs making fun of his Republican response to Mr. Obama’s 2009 State of the Union address - a widely panned performance in his debut before a national television audience.

“Even though the president is sitting up here looking calm and relaxed, he’s actually up here quaking in his boots. He is terrified that I’ll upstage him again, just like I did in that State of the Union response,” Mr. Jindal said.

The son of immigrants from India, Mr. Jindal joked about the talk of his 2016 ambitions, in a way that drew one of Mr. Obama’s heartiest laughs of the night.

“My answer is I have no plans to run. I’ve made that clear over and over again - in Iowa, New Hampshire and South Carolina,” Mr. Jindal said. “I mean, c’mon,” he added. “What chance does a skinny guy with a dark complexion and a funny name have”
Both he and Ms. Klobuchar made much of the diversity of the evening’s main speakers - an Indian-American governor, a woman  senator and the first African-American president.

“I! know the! governor, the president and I agree on one thing,” Ms. Klobuchar said, teeing up one of the night’s most applauded lines. “One day soon, maybe not this year, maybe not even in our children’s lifetime, but one day you will once again have a white male politician speaking at the Gridiron.”